seen &; not heard ..

It would seem that this blog is the place where I can just let it all out, and not have to worry about who's checking up on it. I just keep wondering why? Everything is finally starting to resemble some form of normality and yet I feel it in the pit of my stomach; something bad, something really bad is coming. I'm not trying to over exaggerate or ponder impending doom. Something just doesn't seem right to me. Have you ever felt that way? It's not even like I'm working to get over an inferiority complex or waiting for the bottom to fall out, but for some or maybe even no reason I just have this horrible feeling. It's like that saying ' an elephant in the room'. For a pessimist I'd like to think I'm pretty optimistic but as of lately it's just been off. I feel like I'm running down a steep hill that I'll inevitably tumble down. Maybe that's what this all is about inevitability ? This is where God has to come in with that infamous plan he has for me. & if I do tumble and fall what more can I do but pick myself up, dust myself off, and work my way back up that hill.