Sabotage

Or however you spell it.
Valentine's day in my experience has always completely and totally sucked! To which i explained in detail said valentines day experiences with my Boyfriend. To which he goes, " I promise this Valentine's day wil be the best most amazing one for you." To which i say in my never endung always fashionable sarcastic tone, " I hope so." Excuse me for being so damn morose but seriously people valentine's are always and EPIC FAIL for me. Either way I have this thing, right; where ive been in so many crappy relationships that when things are actually okay in one im just waiting for it to get bad again or I sabotage it myself. I don't want to be the girl anymore and im trying really hard to break out of that mold. Back to Valentine's, it was the most amazing best day and we spent it with my family lol, we played card games and watched movies and cuddled, and we all sat down together for dinner and talked like it was our normal thing you know. And this is gonna sound cheesy but it was beautiful.
This is where it gets bad so he wants to show my mom something relevant to their conversation or other and he asks me to use my phone so he can get on myspace so i let him blah blah laugh laugh. Fast Forward to after he leaves. I go to sign onto my myspace and his is still up so what do i do but turn into a stalker chick and check his messages ( DONT JUDGE ME! ) and they were all from girls loads of girls asking to chill asking for their number all of that. And it gave me a flash back to Dennis seeing the same messages having the same feelings. So I confronted him and he said some stupid excuse the thing that got me was he cried, I mean bad. Cause I stopped picking up and he kept sending me texts and calling and leaving me voice mails and he was sobbing. ! Idk my heart just turned to mush and icant help but believe he wont ever hurt me so I believed what he told me anyone can make one mistake and its forgivable under the right circumstances, i know one time is too many but He was my bestfriend before we got together and I have this trust and these feelings for him. I might let this one slide but the next one ....wont.