so im fat SO WHAT!

ya know im an in the middle not fat not skinny in between beautiful and ugly im what they call thick &; i've learned to embrace my curves. Matter o' fact I love them. I like the way my body looks like a coke bottle and how my waist goes in really little. I like my big butt, chunky thighs and huge boobs ( minus the back pain ). But every now and then when a certain piece of clothing doesnt fit quite right or a muffin top is unable to be hidden i get down on myself. Well recently i've noticed my body hasnt been as nice as I would like it so I vowed to go on a diet and excerise plan after the holidays cause to be honest who can resist the food?! So today I didnt eat much I actually had an orange!...so when dinner was made I had two not so big helpings. And what does my mom say but "that second meal isnt going to work with you and you should get healthy." THANKS MOM !!!! as if Im not hard enough on myself she posseses this keen ablility to make me disgust myself ! .. In all honesty I eat when im depressed i've been that way ever since I was old enough to grasp real life problems going on in my family. Either way readers im really depressed ... like death conlevel 5 depressed. But what I want to understand is if I feel beautiful what does it matter what size I am. I love myself weither im 155 or 120 I will always love me ... so , so im fat SO WHAT!